The Sea Queen by Jovee Winters

25739661Calypso, Queen of the Seas, is mad. Spitting mad. Ghosts of the dead are fouling her waters. She wants this problem fixed, and she wants it fixed now. Rushing off in search of Hades, Lord of the Underworld, to demand answers, she’s soon shocked to discover him bound and standing trial before a jury of his peers—for nothing less than murder.

Calypso normally despises the beastly gods, all of them, but there’s something about seeing Hades bound as he is that gives her an evilly clever idea. Tired of being a virgin queen, she wishes to shed that boring image once and for all, and no one seems quite as fit for the task as the gorgeous and brooding Hades. Of course, there is the minor problem of murder to deal with, but Calypso is bound and determined to have her way.

And when a dark queen gets an idea, nothing and no one can stand in her way… – Goodreads

Read on if you’re over 18. This review contains adult themes.

I clearly missed the “tired of being a virgin queen” bit. Why? Because literally choked on my water when several pages in I read the sentence “I panted beneath the strain of a now raging erection…” and was like WTF AM I READING?

Anyway, I got over it.

This book was spicy, sassy, and funny as hell. It was definitely not what I expected, which was awesome. It was full of Greek mythology (which I LOVE) and sex and humor. Calypso rarely leaves the deep sea, but is drawn out when shit gets messed up in the Underworld and the newly dead are blocked out. When she investigates, she finds Hades being questioned by the other gods and goddesses. Deciding that he is super “hawt”, she offers to be his warden. And she makes him her “sex slave”. Which she says about 9000 awkward times (my main gripe with the entire novel….the overuse of the word sex slave).

The characters were hilarious — Calypso misuses modern phrases, is super sassy and spiteful, and is a general badass. Hades is broody and kind. All of the gods have ridiculous personalities, which works out incredibly well.

The description and imagery was so-so. I did have a difficult time picturing half of the scenery, but I was so enthralled with the rest of the story that I kind of let it slide. It did lose a star for this. There were also some major plot holes and it definitely didn’t stay true to traditional mythology.

But it’s a light, quick read. If you’re in the mood for a laugh (and a cringe), pick this one up. I rated it a 4/5.

L

 

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